Judging Eyes by Zeenat Loya
The eyes of all, judging me.
Sizing me up from top to bottom.
Not shy of gazing, although I’ve caught them.
I feel ashamed, I feel disgusted,
I feel so angry and distorted,
But then I realize it’s entirely my fault,
As I’ve worn such clothes that are too fit,
Truly revealing what Allah has strongly forbid.
Blood suddenly rushed to my head
I, panicking just walked ahead,
No knowledge of where I was going,
Not bothering to look where I was heading,
When all of the sudden I look up to see,
Look up to see something shining,
In, that shining something, people caught my sight,
Of what the sight I caught was a horror,
As it struck me to see myself in a mirror,
I ran like thunder trying to find a way,
Somewhere to hide in a secret place,
The view I saw was a terrible one,
The sight of Satan and his brothers having fun,
The fun that I was turning like one of them,
The joyment they had to welcome me in,
In where? The line of fire!
Suddenly my stomach twisted, like tangled wires,
And I ran again with the attempt of escaping,
Some way or the other of escaping this horrible nightmare,
Tears rushing down my eyes,
like a flowing river,
The fear of facing Allah in this disguise,
As Muslimahs are to cover their chastity,
Reminding me the oath which my soul took with integrity.
As I broke it deeply, and disobeyed my Creator,
What an awful person I must be in the eyes of my Sustainer.
So, oh Allah, I promise to you,
With my soul, my heart, which is truly too few,
That I shall no longer divert from the path you have built,
And try not to ever mistakenly tilt.
As I prepare myself for the day we meet,
Till then, please Allah don’t ever leave me.